Writing Advice for Each Enneagram Type

Welcome back to another episode of Enneagram in real life, the podcast where we explore how to apply our Enneagram knowledge in our daily lives. I'm your host, Steph Barron hall. And today I'm sharing my best writing advice for each Enneagram type. Now If you listened to last week's episode with Mary Atkins, you heard us chat a little bit about each type. And how Mary often coaches them as a writing coach, through the process of writing their book, whether that's a novel or a memoir, I take a bit of a different approach because I write non-fiction. But I started working on this episode probably back in June of this year. And I've been. Compiling different writing tips for each anagram type. So in this episode, you're going to hear. The audio of a YouTube video, which covers each of the nine types and a few shifts they can make to improve their writing process. Then at the end of the episode, you're also going to hear a few other tips from me. That I've either kept on my desk for the last four years as I've been writing various books or. Advice from great writers that has really stuck with me. So I hope you'll stick around to the end and thanks again for listening or watching. The link to the YouTube episode will also be here in the show notes. And if you are interested at all in YouTube or watch YouTube. Please head over there and subscribe and you'll see new videos there first.

If you're in any sort of writing circles, you've probably heard the phrase, I hate to write, but I love having written. It's unknown where that quote actually comes from, but I think it just resonates with a lot of people because writing is difficult. So today we're going to be talking about Writing advice for each Enneagram type and I hope that this will make it maybe not easy but slightly easier for you to get into your best writing. Welcome or welcome back to my channel. I'm Steph and I talk about the Enneagram and any adjacent things. And as we're talking about writing today, I think it's really important to talk about even when we really love what we're writing and really can get into the zone and feel really great about it. Just putting the words on the page can be really difficult and there are a lot of different reasons why that is. But let's dive into writing tips for each Enneagram type and hopefully you'll hear something that will resonate well for you. Now let's start with type 8. I recently had novelist and memoirist Mary Atkins on my podcast and we talked about writing tips for each Enneagram type. And she mentioned that a lot of the time she sees 8s and 3s in particular burning themselves out because they set a schedule for themselves. And they refuse to deviate from it and just push through. Now, I think Aids particularly do this because they think it doesn't really matter how I feel about it, I'm just going to conquer, I'm going to push through, and I'm just going to keep going. And what can end up happening with that is that they have a short timeline and they don't allow themselves to deviate from that timeline even when It's really difficult. Writing can dredge up a lot of difficult emotions. So I think it's really important for AIDs to take more breaks, to listen to what their body needs, and listen to what they need emotionally, and also to ask for support, ask for help. Maybe that's just asking a friend to go for a walk, or maybe it means, you know, if you're writing about something very emotional, asking somebody to help reflect on those things with you. I find that it's really common for aides to compartmentalize different aspects of their lives. And so if you completely divorce yourself from the emotions and you're writing about something really emotional, that's going to cause a lot of internal tension, and that might be challenging to work through. So I really recommend that aides get to port wherever they need it. Let's talk about type nines. So for type nine, it's really important to prioritize yourself and your writing schedule. Now, nines can have a really hard time with this, and they can tend to just... Go at the same pace that they've been going at. And if that means like, Oh, I, let's talk about type nines. And I think there are two things that are really important for nines. One is that they tend to have a difficult time really finding their voice and believing that their voice matters, it's important, and that their contribution is important as well. But I think nines have a lot to add because they spend so much time observing and listening and it's really helpful once they actually share what they're thinking and share their perspective with the world. That's one thing that they have to work on, but then another thing is that it can be difficult to really prioritize their own writing time and their writing schedule, and they just kind of get lost in the day and don't carve out that time for themselves. So a good way to navigate this is to join some sort of writing group, writing workshop, writing club, and use your natural tendency to merge with others and to like being alongside of others to your advantage. So what I mean by that is if you are around other people who are writing and maybe you have a hard time getting started writing on your own, but all you have to do is show up to that call or that workshop, whatever it is. And then you're writing with other people. And so it kind of takes away that barrier to entry and you just get started. And that can be a really, really powerful thing. So you can lean on that idea of structure and routine and allow that to help you build your writing practice. In writing my second book, I joined a writing club that met twice a day actually. And it was really helpful for me not only to write alongside other people, but to hear that other people were struggling too. Sometimes I ended up feeling like I was the only one who was... It's kind of getting lost or kind of feeling frustrated or feeling tension. And it was really useful for me to hear, Oh, it's actually totally normal among writers to feel this way. And um, that really helped me in my process. So I think that nines could also benefit from that. For type one, I recommend separating the editing mode versus writing mode. This is really helpful for anyone, but especially ones who tend to be really self critical. And when you try to edit while you're writing. You end up criticizing yourself as you're going, and that can really trigger some sort of like, shame spiraling situation. Especially for ones, really for anyone, it's happened to me. Um, but I think it's really, really helpful to separate those things. First off, I think it's important to know that the more you write, the better you'll get. So, if you just keep your writing hat on long enough, You will become a much better writer much quicker and then when you go back and edit you get your editing hat on which ones I think make great editors because they're so they can be so detailed and they can really see what's not fitting but then you have this superpower of looking at the Structure and the nuanced words and making sure everything is exactly how you want it and I think that that is really helpful because you have a great piece of writing to begin with and instead of Trying to build your editing skills while you're building your writing skills. If you focus on one at a time, you'll actually complete a rough draft. It's okay that it's a rough draft, and you won't be overwhelmed by self criticism in the process. And when I sent an email asking people what they wanted to contribute to the writing tips by type, a writer actually responded, her name is Nadia, and she said, My best advice is to not let perfection and seriousness into the creative writing room. Those two, perfection and seriousness. are the best editors, and they'll try to interrupt as you write. But if you ever notice them criticizing, stop, acknowledge, and redirect them, and keep going if you can. I love that advice, thanks so much Nadia for sending that in. Now we have our heart types, and for type 2, I think it's really useful to spend time alone to really tap into your voice and what you want it to be. Twos really tend to absorb and reflect emotions from other people and while that can be, again, a really great thing that they do, that can be a great strength, it can also mean that how they feel kind of gets lost in the mix. And so spending more time alone helps twos to tune into what's actually happening inside them and right from that place. And that's how they can get this authentic and really lovely work that they want to create, but it just requires carving out the time for themselves to do that. So that's the second part is to carve out the space. While twos may benefit from the type of workshop or class or meeting that I recommended for, for nines. I, I've also noticed that twos can end up going into those spaces and giving a lot of advice or really sharing a lot of encouragement or helping everyone else in the room and not actually working on their own stuff. So. What I recommend instead is, like I said, the alone time portion, but also. To let your friends and family know in advance. Hey, I'm working on this thing. It's really important to me I really want to do a good job but it requires that I'm going to have to say no a lot more than I typically do and Let them know they can support you by checking in if they if they have a request or they want to spend time with you Maybe they could check in with you and say hey like I would love to do this But I also know that you're working on this Or how can I support you during your, your writing time or things like that. So keeping that in mind, but if you let them know in advance, it really decreases the frustration or the tension or the internal conflict that you might feel when you have to say no in the moment and it helps them to remember, Hey, I love you. I care about you, but I also really want to work on this thing and I would love your support with that. So doing that in advance is going to be really useful for two. For type threes, I think it's really important to focus on what you want to write. In my own experience writing my second book, which I turned in about six months ago, I really had this struggle of knowing, okay, this is like the accepted canon of the Enneagram. This is what each of the types represent, but I also wanted to put my own perspective on it and that felt really challenging and I had to do a lot of inner work to recognize what is it that I want to say here? What is it that I want to share that I think is not being said in this? Um, and so that was really helpful for me and really important for me to tap into that. The second thing that was most helpful was depersonalizing my book. So I've even heard writing coaches say, your book is an extension of you. And actually that is not that helpful. Instead, I started thinking of my book as its own being or like its own entity. And so I was one of the guides or shepherds creating it and cultivating it. And then I could think. Okay, my editors are also those guys who are cultivating and shaping and editing and working on it as well. We have the same goal, which is we want to create the best book we possibly can. So when they would give feedback that I previously might have considered harsh, it really helped me to be like, no, we're making this the best book it can be. And that was really helpful and it helped me to actually finish the first draft instead of focusing so much on And this being, you know, the ultimate expression of everything I know about the Enneagram. And in addition, I think it's really important for threes to take mental breaks from their writing. And I think, you know, in general, all writers need to do this, but what I started recognizing is even on days I wasn't writing, I was still thinking about it so much that I never really got a good restful break. And once I was able to identify that, it really helped me to go do something else that was more engrossing. Even just going to the park and playing pickleball, or playing basketball, or hiking, or these different things that are more, um, all encompassing, where I didn't have space in my mind to think about a book, gave me enough of a mental break that I could come back refreshed and actually sit down and, and work. And it, it, it took a long time for me to be able to turn that off, but I think I've really built that skill now, and, um, it's been really helpful as I'm working on my third book. For fours, I have a bit of a similar recommendation, which is... Again, disidentifying from your book, but from a different perspective. So fourths tend to think about what is the perfect, most authentic encapsulation. of my self expression. And that can put a lot of pressure on a four to create something that's absolutely perfect, that is incredible, and all of these different adjectives that they have like this ideal of what it's going to look like. And so anything that's not that falls short. But I think it's important for fours to remember that you cannot be encapsulated in a book. There is so much more to you than could fit in any sort of volume, um, whether that's 600 pages or five books of 600 pages each. There's so much more to you than that and you're constantly growing and changing. I guarantee you by the time your book comes out, You will have changed your mind about things. You will have rethought things, or learned something new, or kind of been like, Oh, this character should have done this other thing. Now, personally, I write prescriptive non fiction, so I don't have a ton of experience in writing fiction, but from what I hear, I've experienced even other authors telling me like, Oh, I forgot what I even made this character do in this scene, because I have done so many iterations of that particular scene. So for Forrest, keep in mind that it is It is an expression of you, but it is not you. Again, depersonalizing it, releasing the pressure to find the perfect, authentic portrait of yourself and just write this one piece of the self expression, um, because I think the self expression piece is important, especially for fours, but don't make self expression the only goal. For type five, start writing. That's the biggest thing, right? Um, is just start writing. Fives tend to think. Okay, I haven't quite gotten it yet, or I'm going to write it in my mind a little bit more or a few more times before I actually start putting words on the page, and that actually is not that helpful. So start writing, and then when you hit an area where you want to, for example, insert a citation, don't go into editing mode. This is similar to type one, but write yourself a little note and say, Oh, insert citation about X here. And then later you can go back and add those things in because what can happen for fives is that you might be like, okay, I'm going to go find that perfect quote in that book. And then you're flipping through the book and you're like, okay, here's a quote. Oh, but this is interesting too. And this is interesting too. And this is interesting. And before you know it, You are going down this spiral of learning all these new things and you've really gotten off track. And then you have all these different things that you now want to put in your book that you don't have the word count for. And also along the way, you have become an expert in how to write all of these different types of citations. And in reality, you are already an expert in your topic. You don't need to become an expert in. How to write citations or in every adjacent topic. So let that go a little bit as you're writing just write Make yourself a note where to insert citations or or whatever else or quotes or little tidbits Whatever else that needs to be and then go back and put that stuff in there later alternatively, you could actually just start with a literature review where you're not actually writing anything except for little summaries of each of the papers or books that you want to include and start with that and then go back and fill in the rest of the writing later so that you already have all of the citations there. But either way you don't want to be doing both at the same time because that'll really get you off track and it'll slow down your process and it'll make you feel like you're not ready, which you are. Speaking of not feeling ready, We are now at type six and I think six is often struggle with self doubt and feeling like they aren't ready and Similar to type fives. It's really important for sixes to just start but I think for sixes it's helpful to have a little bit of a reframe because There can be a lot of this performance anxiety that they suffer through Especially if they feel like oh my gosh, this is the big game or this is the big Moment where I have to write the book and they hype themselves up so much that they're like, okay, I'm not ready yet I'm going to start writing it three years from now. And no, just start, just start now. So consider it a practice. Think of it as a writing practice where you just show up every day and you practice. You practice writing a book. You practice writing something for 30 minutes, an hour, whatever it is. And think of that practice and build upon that. Make it a routine. Make it part of your day. And you never have to feel like there's that big moment of like, Oh my gosh, now I'm finally ready to do it because you just have already started. And over time you might find, Oh, I've been writing a memoir all along or I've been writing about the Enneagram all along, whatever it is. It'll be a lot easier for sixes to see all the evidence that they already have that they can write versus hyping up Oh my gosh, now it's going to be time to start and what am I going to do? And, and having that panic feeling when it's finally time to start writing your book. So just start now, start a practice and see where that takes you. Finally type seven. So people always tell sevens, make sure you give yourselves lots of opportunities to celebrate, which is great. I think celebration is great for sevens. I also think it's really important to notice what you actually enjoy during the writing process. Writing is hard and it can be painful and it can be boring, which is kind of the worst for sevens. So try reframing it and using again your skills of reframing a little bit differently. So think about what's interesting about this. What's new about this experience? What can I really soak up about this experience rather than looking for only, how can I make it more enjoyable? How can I insert celebratory into something that's not celebratory? Look for things that are naturally interesting and enjoyable for you in how writing already is. I also think it's helpful for sevens to think through the entire project before they begin. And sometimes I think for sevens they might get to the end of the thinking through and the outlining process and they might think, Ooh, I don't really want to do that. And that's fine. But then you can spend your energy on something you do want to do. Because I've spoken with so many sevens who say, I have written. Five half books, and No full books. And so it might be helpful for you to actually build in some structure, to think through, outline, really process through what is the end going to look like, and then go back and work on the beginning. Um, or then go back and work through the rest of it because you want to understand where you're headed and make sure that where you're headed with this book is somewhere you actually want to go. Um, so that as you're, as things get challenging, as things get difficult during the middle of the project, you're like, no. This is why this is important to me. This is what's really interesting about this to me. This is what excites me about this. And keep yourself in line that way so that you can stay focused and get it published. Okay, those are the nine Enneagram types. I have a few other quotes that I want to share with you. The first one is, you've probably heard it, it's kind of like that first one at the top of the video. Kill your darlings. So this has been attributed to Sir Arthur Quiller Couch. William Faulkner, E. B. White, Stephen King, among others. And I'm not sure who actually said it, talking about, um, killing off a character or a plot line that you really love, um, in order to serve the story. But I also like it when I'm thinking about, uh, nonfiction in ruthlessly editing out anything that doesn't serve your reader. So one of the writing coaches that I have learned a lot from is named AJ Harper. She's a really successful ghostwriter and now a writing coach. And she always redirects her students to this idea. What does your reader need? What does your reader need to know and understand to apply what you're offering to them? This helped me so much because as it turns out, I don't need to put everything I know about the Enneagram into a book, right? I don't need you to know everything about object relations theory as it relates to the Enneagram. What you need is to be able to recognize yourself in your type. So that means sometimes I forgo writing prose or even delete prose that I've written and instead go for bullet points that are more succinct and help you to better recognize yourself in the type itself. And I think that that's really powerful because it, again, takes it away from being all about me and what I want to write and more about you as the reader and making sure it's serving your needs. And that's a really helpful way to make a really excellent book that people will want to read and want to finish and want to share with their friends. So if that's the type of book you want to read or that you want to write, I recommend using that advice here, too. Another quote I love that I've had on my wall for years is, A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit by Richard Bach. What I make of this quote is just a reminder that writing can be difficult. It's really helpful for me to remember that I'm not the only one who struggles with it. That I'm not the only one who's like, Oh my gosh. Here I am again. I have to write again. It feels really great to be in the flow and to kind of feel like you have that sense of inspiration or how some people called the muse, uh, like Steven Pressfield, um, often calls it the muse. And that experience is amazing, but it's elusive. And so it's important for me to remember to just keep going and I will get there eventually. Earlier this year, I downloaded from my local library a workshop by Anne Lamott called Word by Word. Not her book, Bird by Bird, but her workshop, Word by Word. And she said this quote, which I loved and I really appreciate because, again, it reminds us that writing is a struggle, that we all have these really terrible first drafts, and um, she said, I know some very great writers, writers you love, who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money. And not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. And I love that quote because again, I had this expectation of perfection from myself. And I think that's something I encounter in writers all the time is that you just expect it to be perfect. You expect it to be excellent and amazing just at the first draft. And actually, it's a process. And part of the process is just peeling back the layers, writing, staying in writing mode, and then editing, and then writing again, and editing. And that's just how it goes. So I think that's a really great encouragement. And finally, another quote that's on my wall is from Rachel Held Evans, who was a theologian, and she wrote some things that were really controversial in her circles. And I really loved her perspective, um, on Um, so many different things, but I heard her say one time that she had this quote on her wall, tell the truth. And what I make of this is that sometimes I find myself over explaining or kind of drawing things out. And so I just stop and ask myself, what is the truest thing I can say right now? What is the most direct and important thing that I can say and writing from that place? And I think it's been incredibly valuable and helpful for me. To do that because it helps me get to the heart of the matter a lot quicker than if I Tried the circuitous method that would maybe make everyone understand me But wouldn't actually say the thing that I really want to say So I think that's a really helpful thing to whether you're writing fiction or nonfiction I found so much benefit in being as simple as possible and Making it as applicable and practical as possible to help your readers see it from your perspective So that's my writing advice by Enneagram type. I really hope it makes things a little bit easier, maybe a little lighter. Um, at least you know that you're not alone if you are writing something and it's difficult and you're struggling. And I really would love to see whatever you're writing. So please leave a comment below. Let me know. What else do you'd like to see videos on? And also if you're publishing something, if you're putting some sort of writing out as a blog post or an article or a book, let me know. I'd love to read it. I'd love to check it out. And I hope to see you again in the next video. And if you like this video, please like it and subscribe to my channel. I'm brand new here and subscribing is one of the most helpful things you can do because it lets you to know, Hey, I like these videos and I want to see more of them.

Thanks so much for listening to Enneagram IRL. If you love the show, be sure to subscribe and leave us a rating and review. This is the easiest way to make sure new people find the show. And it's so helpful for a new podcast like this one, if you want to stay connected. Sign up for my email list in the show notes or message me on instagram at nine types co to tell me your one big takeaway from today's show I'd love to hear from you. I know there are a million podcasts you could have been listening to, and I feel so grateful that you chose to spend this time with me. Can't wait to meet you right back here for another episode of any grim IRL very soon. The Enneagram and real life podcast is a production of nine types co LLC. It's created and produced by Stephanie Barron hall. With editing support from Brandon Hall. And additional support from crits collaborations. Thanks to dr dream chip for our amazing theme song and you can also check out all of their music on spotify